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Our understanding of success in Muslim or Asian culture pivots around the notion that we’ll get married and settle down with kids.
Men’s goals and aspirations don’t usually stop there but women’s goals and aspirations are usually limited after marriage.
But when you add religion to the mix – particularly if you are trying to find someone on the same religious level as you – the pool becomes smaller.
Recently, we wrote about why Muslim women find it difficult to find a partner.
Also, women from a Muslim background have culturally been financially dependent on men.
Not only am I fighting Islamophobia, at the same time I’m fighting to liberate women from male dependency.
Culturally having grown up and invested Muslim values/belief systems into my own personal ethos make it difficult to date (whether it be Muslims or non-Muslims) in a country with an overall culture that doesn’t really value those belief systems. Most important to me is ensuring that the person has an overall set of values that are compatible with mine (in a more holistic sense), and that can be Christian, Jewish or atheist.
At a certain age (over 30) it becomes easier for men to find partners than it is for women.
It’s quite normal for first meetings but not everyone will tell you whether they’re bringing someone.In addition, having been raised Muslim but not necessarily having dated Muslim women, it can often feel like my value set isn’t sought after in a culture that seemingly rewards excess or wealth.It makes the search for someone special considerably [difficult] and has proven itself a likely pitfall for heartache when values inevitably clash in a long term relationship.Women are more willing at an older age to settle or work out the differences. But in some ways, I find that men of my age, ethnic and religious background in the West have to work harder to find a suitable partner, especially if we’re limiting ourselves to partners of a similar background.That’s because most of the backlash against Muslims is geared towards Muslim men.