Dating a spirit man
with two things on my mind: taking advantage of a promising career opportunity and finding a woman to spend my life with.
My first year in the nation’s capital city was difficult; both job and dating scene didn’t click for me.
She did not reciprocate my feelings, but I chose not to see this.
An enduring memory of this excursion is waking up surrounded by cats after a restless night in a sleeping bag (I hate cats to this day).
I discovered that listening with a stance of mercy was a good first step.
Trying to lead without truly perceiving the other person isn’t really leading at all.
Reflecting on Israel’s journey centuries later, the book of Isaiah says, “Do not fear, for I am with you.
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. Knowing the One in whom we believe, we can confidently engage in relationships and see where possibilities go. Sure, I held to a biblical view of sexuality and desired to be married. I needed to rewire thought patterns that would objectify rather than honor.
At that point, four of my siblings had already married. Fear results from not knowing and relying on the voice of God.
Several failed, awkward, sort-of relationships revealed areas in my life where I was lacking maturity.
I remember tagging along with a girl on a road trip to return her car to the family ranch.
But I realized the condition of my heart and mind wasn’t marriage-ready. Most importantly, I needed to reject lies that were fueling those cycles — agreements that marred the identity of who God said I was.
I committed to a discipleship program that involved biblical principles, intensive small-group sessions, corporate worship times and tough dialogue, including confession.