Dating a momma39s boy
Then, I found him a lawyer, downloaded all the paperwork, and we obtained his citizenship. By the time I left Scotland, and him, to pursue my own life, I was exhausted. Let me be precise: I killed our relationship by putting all of my energy into making him the man who better resembled the person I thought he could be. In my mind, I had given him everything and he’d simply left me drained. Only years later would I realize that I’d opened my own vein and forced him to then, I’ve experienced various reiterations of what I now consider my original sin (and which others may recognize as a propensity for codependency).
Don’t misunderstand me — he worked his ass off at every step of this process. Because, while he was still gorgeous and sweet, he felt like my responsibility, not my lover. I hadn’t diagnosed what was really wrong — that I fall for potential only I can see, rather than the person actually standing in front of me.
All I did was point to each opportunity and facilitate things I was better at; things that were more straightforward for me, a native speaker and a Westerner. I tried to “do better” by dating wildly different men rather than working on myself.
After a rather regrettable rebound with a man I nicknamed “Bad Decision,” I dated a string of people I will call “complicated,” with all of that word’s casual irony.
I don’t have any huge hang-ups and I’ve managed to reduce most of my baggage to a carry-on.
He landed a much better job at the college he attended. Yes, he deserved an I helped convince him he was ready, now, for things he thought he’d do later — like applying for citizenship, going to school, having a career. How I felt was obvious to me, and yet my role in what happened remained obscure.I’d stay in relationships that weren’t working, with people who clearly were not invested, because I thought I could work hard and invest enough for both of us.I put precious energy into being the perfect possibility, hoping they couldn’t help but be drawn into my orbit.owadays, I try to ignore the mirages sparkling in the distance.my own little fairytale, my boyfriend moved in with me and secured a slightly better job.I found him a free English course and, gifted in language, he raced through it.