Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City.
He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College and has been working in therapy for over 10 years. Marriage and family therapist Moshe Ratson says: "I think a first date should be relatively short, like having brunch or afternoon tea, going for a bike ride or a walk together, or visiting a museum.
You can assign this task in therapy, and clients can develop their plan at home, but the plan should not be implemented until they’ve discussed it at length with you in the therapy room, vetting it for bad ideas, things they’ve not thought about, etc.
A particular client might create the following list of goals: As stated above, a simple written plan like this one will suffice for many clients. In such cases, the more comprehensive exercise suggested below can be quite useful.
For these clients, as with recovering sex addicts, a dating plan can be helpful.
Basic Advice Regardless of the trauma a client has experienced or the counterproductive ways in which that trauma manifests, the path to developing healthy future intimate relationships is pretty much the same.
For these clients, an integral (and somewhat advanced) part of the healing process is learning how to date in healthy ways.
Going on the perfect date is nearly every person's dream.
Sometimes these clients have turned to an addiction, either substance or behavioral, as a way to cope with the discomfort caused by adult-life relationships.
In my practice I have dealt with many such people, primarily sexual addicts and co-occurring sex/drug addicts.
Of course, it’s not just sexually and/or chemically addicted men and women who struggle with dating and intimacy.
Beginning and developing adult romantic relationships is a struggle for anyone with any type of attachment deficit disorder, including relatively healthy people coming off breakups or divorces (especially if the former partner was abusive or unfaithful).