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Unfortunately, we're literally engineered to gravitate towards attractive individuals who smell like redwood trees and caramel.

If a phone sex hotline and Tinder drank and had a baby, it would come out as Revealr.

and I'm not talking about sugar-free carbonated soft drinks.

We live in a fluff-free era—people know what they want and aren't afraid to express their opinion in ALL CAPS, followed by a series of passive-aggressive emojis. In hopes of answering your burning questions, here are 13 dating apps ranked (lovingly and subjectively) on how likely you are to end up takin' old one-eye to the optometrist.

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